Monday, 23 March 2015

An unromantic man

कलाईयाँ, कलाईयाँ
तू लेया दे मैनू गोल्डन झुमके।
मैं कन्ना विच पावां चुम चुम के।
तू लेया दे मैनू गोल्डन झुमके।
मैं कन्ना विच पावां चुम चुम के।
तू लेया दे मैनू गोल्डन झुमके।
मैं कन्ना विच पावां चुम चुम के।
मन जा वे, मैनु शॉपिंग करा दे।
मन जा वे, रोमांटिक पिक्चर दिखा दे।

This song has portrayed a wishful lady asking for certain things(shopping, earrings, watching romantic movie) she enjoys.
Isn't this image associated with every girl with liability on a boy to fulfill them? Then only a man is deemed to be a dream boy.

The above image is a very familiar picture denying the reciprocating nature of human being (girl doesn't have anything to give in return :P).

Red roses, candle light dinners and lots of expensive gifts characterizes  love with a commercial form. I wonder why most of the times this is a one sided affair, a boy is expected to spend money on valentines' day, her birthday.

Lets talk about valentine's week. It is a western concept characterized by 7 day ritual where the schedule is running from rose, propose, chocolate, teddy, promise, and valentine's gift. The whole week creates a heady combination and environment to make someone fall in so called "love". Imagine the flagrance of roses, sweet chocolates with plenty of sugar making heart sweet as well, beautiful card, unrealistic praises and promises, dim light dinner. The influence of this cocktail beautified with bookish clichéd notions of romance can make any person fall in love with the other. And with all this glittery environment, even the most rational women among us cannot help getting hypnotized into starry-eyed expectations.

As valentine day approaches, the most common questions in a girl's mind are: will he or will he not take me out, propose me? What will he do to make me feel special? Will he buy me whatever I want? Will he narrate his love in a card, in a heart, in a surprise? And this fantasy goes on and on.. Moving from the  expectations part to real one.

What if he forgets "the day"? What if he is unable to figure out what makes you happy? What if he is not aware of all these rituals? Then what, he is a rude, unromantic man, doesn’t care about your happiness, doesn’t take you serious enough and so on.

But wait, before judging a simple questionarie for you.
Ask yourself, when you make a call at 4 am, because you are scared by a dream, and he actually sleeps only after comforting you.

Ask yourself, when you are tired and screaming due to pain, is he the one who give massage to your forehead.

Ask yourself, when you don’t take care of yourself, he get angry on you for doing so.

Ask yourself, has he seen your worst possible physical/mental state and still praising you and motivating you. Has he looked at you without affection?

Now in which version of romance would you like to spend your life?

The formula of "7 din ladki in" with intoxicated cocktail of all fantasies followed by breaking hearts or the "7 janam only for you besides you" one.

You may be willing to put him under spotlight on the day, and testing his skills at expressing his love. You may ask him what makes you happy(as the above song) or give him hints to do what everyone does(citing your friends' examples), he may even reluctantly do, just for you. But at heart if you know that he doesn’t really believe in any of these ‘conventional’ methods, then don’t force him to do so. He may not be able to verbally express himself, he may not afford the romantic items that the world has defined, but his actions in everyday life may the proof that you really need of his love.

Well, the day you think you should be treated as special, may be the perfect day to look back at all the remaining days of the year with your man. Why not look at every tiny thing that he has done for you that goes beyond materialistic things?

Come on girls, this is 21st century, if we claim to become self dependent earning on our own, then why to empty his pockets on your desires?
If you really want to have shopping, chocolates, why not buy some yourself? Why to be sad when he is unable to do what you never have done?

Don't we want to break conventions every now and then? Can't we break the convention of a man as a money printing machine as well?

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