Monday, 25 June 2018

Karwa chauth for husband, rakhi/bhai dooj for bhai, ashtami for children. Is there something for wives/sisters/mothers?

If you are a Hindu woman, you are bestowed with a very important role, to take care of your family. You are supposed to keep fast for karwa chauth for husband, ashtami fast for children, tie rakhi to bhai for their well being. Is there any fast for well being and longevity of wife, sister or mother? Or is this the privilege exclusively available to the male community, again thanks to our patriarchal society? Does this logic says that it is the male community which needs protection?

Alas! statistics says otherwise. Right from female foeticide to crime against women, it is the women who are vulnerable and need protection spell, if any.  Going by that logic, in the contemporary world, it should be the responsibility of man to keep their woman safe.

For those who dont know karwa Chauth, it a North Indian festival in which married women will fast from before sunrise till she can see the moon that night. And unfortunately, if moon is not visible then the fast will continue the other day. Absolutely no water or food is taken at this time.  Lets check the utility of this fast. If at all, it had some substance, women dont need to divorce her husband if they develop hatred towards them. They would just cheat while fasting to reduce his age. Or if a husband is diagnosed with kidney failure or blood requirement, instead of arranging for new kidney or blood, the wife can go for fasting. Jokes apart, as per scientific studies, intermittent fasting can be disastrous for a woman's hormones, causing things such as reproductive issues and may worsen other pre-existing health conditions.

By not having a drop of water, I am opening myself to dehydration. Without any food, I am stressing my body. Does my husband's life carry more value than my own?  I hope its not. Moreover it totally defies logic and science. How would my eating less will make my husband live longer. Though there is concept of one soul after marriage(do jism ek jaan), yet the bodies would remain separate.  And even if it works in some hypothetical world, shouldn't it be the two way process? Isn't this tradition against the concept of gender equality? Shouldn't husbands also show reciprocity?

Then there is another kind of fast to get a good husband- Solah (16) Somvar, (as if there is no need of a good wife). Again by logic, the sex ratio says otherwise.  Increasingly, the average age of unmarried boys is increasing because of skewed sex ratio. Bride money is taking the place of dowry. Shouldn't the guys take note of this serious issue and start fasting?

Then, many of the mothers keep fast of Asthami for their children's well being. Doesn't this also goes against the common sense. Mother being more aged than her children needs protection from health hazards and age hazards. Shouldn't children fast for their mother?

Disclaimer: In principle, I am not against any religion or associated faith of fasting. People have different reasons behind fasting, including health reasons(cleansing of toxics), family legacy and minimalistic living etc, and I respect them all. I am just against the notion of stereotyping of the fasts against a particular section of society, i.e., women.


  1. Completed agree. Don't know where the society is heading.

  2. The root of these rudhis can be found in the patriarchal society that has been predominant in Indian Society since ages where woman has been given secondary place to man. Many such rudhis like women not being allowed to enter certain temples of worship are prevailant even today. In the Vedic times, women were barred from learning the Vedas. They were not allowed to attend schools and colleges to gain higher education. Her role was largely confined to the house and being subservient to the man.

    This was done inspite of the fact that Stree Shakti or Adi Shakti the Goddess is given the highest position in Hinduism. It's said that a woman is wife for a short time but mother for her life. She is the one who carries the child for 9 months, gives birth and raises the child into a man or a woman. Her role in upbringing of the child is the most important. A woman is emotionally stronger than a man and is better equipped to handle crisis. The role of a woman in shaping up the future of her child and the society at large is extremely important.

    In spite of this she was chained by the rudhis in the past which are prevailant even today in the form of karva chauth and fasting etc. It's high time that these rudhis are done away with and women are given equality with men, which they deserve.

  3. Rightly said..hail women power :)

  4. Get married and trying writing same article again. ;)
    Oh, btw, Man also fast on karvachauth.

    Either of them are free to do or not to do. They can go out on a candle night dinner, if they're so weak that not eating a day will cause severe dehydration n bring them to the brink of death.

    Some woman showing love n devotion toward their husband, and this act of love misunderstood by bystanders as torture n severe health issue is nothing but their short sightedness.

    If same woman do fasting for her boyfriend then her friends would see her as epitome of a true lover. Perhaps, after juliet , her name would be used in Facebook posts whenever people speak of true love.

    But if married woman from particular nation, for a particular day,in a peculiar way, do something, they are seen oppressed ones and people like you come defending them in the name of faminism. Foreign people respect our traditions more than we ourselves do.

    India is great and all such traditions together makes it a great nation.

    A muslim reading namaz five times a day, a hindu waking up early at 3:40 am for morning pooja, pooja on a new house or vehicle or spending lavishly on big fat Indian weddings. These small things may seems to other as heavy burden but for one who is doing them it's way of receiving blessings from almighty for their loved ones.

    After, reading your article, I asked my mom if she ever feel stressed on karvachauth.
    On auspicious day of karvachauth their love n devotion to their husbands makes them so strong that not once do they feel hungry or thirsty.


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