Monday, 12 November 2018

Last nail in coffin


"I am extremely sorry for my behavior last night, if possible forgive me!!", and she walked into the bedroom.

"Is this sorry enough and for how long?", he posed the question to the empty air in the room.
"Aren't you saying it thousandth time?  I really wish if it could come straight from your heart. But you say it more like your favorite english word having infinite healing power with no feeling of regret or a real concern.  You say it because you are too familiar with my weakness to start afresh even after every tornado. You know that my heart will melt eventually. You know I cant be angry on you for long.  But, do you know, even an eraser has its limit and it cant always remove all the dents by the monster pencil? Just because I care for you, and, I cant see you in pain or guilt, does not mean that you will keep hurting me again and again. I do understand, it might not be deliberate and intentional all the time. But, the frequency and casualness of things call for an oblique intent not to be considerate at all. Aah, no worries, dear! I hold no grudges against you. You know you are forgiven even before you say sorry to me. But, do you really think my forgiveness can always fill up those cracks which are created and widened again and again? It can bridge the moment between us but not the distance which goes further and further.
Still I forgive you. Sorry to say, but at times, sorry is not enough to keep going. At times, sorry is not enough to rekindle the extinguishing flame of a relationship.
I am sorry, you have to stand at the receiving end of understanding this time.
I am sorry to choose indifference over holding grudges.
I am sorry to choose moving on straight over the repeated cycle.
I am sorry for giving up on you.
And sorry, we have exhausted our quota of sorries!!"

3 comments:

  1. Whoa ! What should I say ? Where should I begin ?

    It's really a very complex situation most of us face in some relationship or other. Each relationship has a giver and a receiver. The person who gives, cares for the other and nurturs the relationship.The other is a receiver, who always receives from the giver and gets used to it so much that he/she start taking it for granted. The receiver becomes indifferent to the feelings of the giver and hurts him/her by his/her behavior. Still the giver persists, clingily at times not letting go.

    Many times the family responsibilities force one to remain in the relationship, to continue to give. As if it's a debt one owes and has to clear !

    One has to learn to move away from such relationships. They deplete one emotionally and physically.

    The question is, do we really need such relationships?

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  2. It's a grey area, I guess. Each one has their own story and unique perception about the situation which favours them. At times you can't really judge the righteousnes of the actions. This vague area continue to exist in all the relationships. So, yes we need such relationships to ponder to learn and to come up with the best decision. To err is the human, benefit of doubt may be given to the extent besst suited to oneself

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  3. True. However each relationship is unequal in the sense that there is one party who always strives to nurture it while the other feeds on it....

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